Praise the Lord! Okay this is really something for me today. I am sitting here trying to figure out how to start this. Please forgive me as a lot of this is direct, I have received several emails that were negative and really directed at me in the manner of my walk in the Lord and what I say in my Honesty Today writings, and the things that God has laid before me and this is my conversation to the enemy to get off of me for in my imperfections – God is glorified! Hallelujah Jesus! Yes it is long – when are they not! Yes I am upset in writing this but the Honesty must flow – I promised! Praise the Lord!!!
I am learning that in my imperfectness the Lord is blessing me and using me. As we were talking on the Living Victorious talk show last night – the topic was honesty. It was an interesting topic and one that I truly stand by. I am always telling sisters and brothers in Christ to open up for it is in our secrets that we are losing our ground in the Lord.
We were blessed with Pastor Debra to join us and we just enjoyed her comments. Yet the show was not the highlight of the last 24 hours. The highlight was my husband waking up and expressing some concerns he had. Now let me tell you not only did his concerns literally rock me, but they truly hit me to the core of my heart. Here I am faced with this issue. (Sorry I do not have the permission to write what he said at this time…in time I am sure I will) Yet when he stated this to me, I was really thrown for a loop. I was feeling really bad. I have been talking to my husband about being totally honest with me at all times so as I was listening to him express himself, I tried to keep my mouth shut and my mind open. Yet I was thinking to myself – Lord what is this? Why are we going through this again? What am I not doing right? Yet the Lord said listen…so I did.
We talked all the way to my job and as we talked even more, I had to be honest too…so we did talk. As we come to place more on the table…the first thing I thought was Lord this can not be…I thought everything is out there already. LOL the Lord said yes it is and yet both of you are only dealing with the parts that you want to do…I am bringing it to you again so that you will not have to bring this to the table again. I smiled as I was reading the email from my hubby and responding back with all the honesty that I have.
I have to smile at that because I am so honest with him that I never think of it hurting him in any manner and I have repeatedly have asked him to be this honest with me too. Yet when he did…my first thought was “well then forget this”…and crawl back in my lovely cave, but then the Lord reminded me when I did that last time. So I started digging deeper and come to see that it was a misunderstanding on both of our parts…neither one wanting to say anything but still on our minds to say something. Yet as I sit here content and happy, I know that God has been working it out for us. He knew beforehand that we needed to do the show to open more doors for us.
We are not the perfect couple but in Jesus we are perfect for each other. It is really awesome to see the Lord work out our issues and problems. I believe 100% about being honest with our mates…I know there are so many who say not to do so, but in our honesty we are free. I did not like what my hubby said about me, and I am sure he did not care for what I said about him…but in doing so it has opened the door for us to explore together a way to come even closer together. As silly as it sounds to some, as it is not silly to me, we are closer because of it. I will go home and just lay in his arms more because of the closeness and I am sure he will have open arms still even after our disagreement. It is truly in the Lord that we are to stand.
It amazes me when so many sisters are asking me how can I do all that I do and how does it work out and why they are not able to do it…here are a few things – direct, honest and it may even sting somewhat so put on the spirit of the Lord as I state these things
First – my walk in the Lord is NOT your walk in the Lord – do not try to compare us and think that I am overdoing it, do not think you are under doing it (unless you really are) we all have a walk in the Lord and though we are on the same path does not mean you are to be doing the same things as I am. Everyone is not to have a national ministry, an international ministry, everyone is not called to sing and everyone is not called to preach. Come to know your gifts in the Lord and work on them. It is our individuality that unites us as one body of Christ – know what body part you are and walk in it. We have done a My Purpose workshop and getting ready to do My Gifts in the Holy Spirit workshop all on line and if you are interested in either one – let me know. I am willing to even do them one on one…this is what God has commissioned me to do at this time in my walk with Him. We have to know the Lord - truly know Him and not rely on others but rely on Him. We can not take the measuring stick for someone else’s life and use it for our life because we will never measure up. We can be on the same path in life, just taking different steps to get to the end of the road. There is no shame in you – love who you are and accept who you are! Praise the Lord!
Second – though we have different things to do – we all have different ministries to do. Just because your gift is being a helper or the gift of giving does not make your gift any less valuable than anyone else’s…the key here is to know your gift - stop making excuses as to why you are not doing this or why you are not doing that in the Lord. Be happy and content in whatsoever state you are in…even if there is something missing from your life…stand on the word of God.
It amazes me how because I am so open that people take liberties with what I say and want to take it back at me as in a challenge or something. I thank God for the strength that He provides or I would have gave up a long time ago. God is truly moving in my life and I am thankful to Him. It is hard to write what I am thinking each day, it is hard to open up but in my opening up I am becoming free. I am still in pain and hurt from my past though most of it is gone, yet there is still some there. The Lord is so awesome because He keeps making me face it – I do not want to face it but He is bringing it to face each time. I know that in the end of it all…all that was will no longer be! Praise the Lord for it!
Third – I am blessed to do what I do because of my determination in the Lord to follow His will for my life. It is the blind obedience in Jesus that I continue to strive to do. I do not always follow His will but I can only succeed in being a wife, mother, doing the full time ministry, work full time, and truly building my relationship with the Lord because of the love of the Lord himself and by blessing me with a loving husband as I have. My husband is not above helping around the house. He knows what I am doing and what it takes out of me sometimes. He is the one there when I am tired and just not feeling like doing another thing – encouraging me to keep doing the will of God. He is the one who helps when the laundry gets piled up. Yes, most men expect the wife to do that even if she is working a full time job and many of us just do that. I personally think that is a wonderful blessing to have a man who respects who I am and what I am commissioned to do. He does not step on my beliefs, He does not hurt my feelings (on purpose), and He loves me. He loves our son; He loves us with the love the Lord. We are determined to make our marriage work regardless of what others say or try to do. The enemy runs thoughts in my mind sometimes and tries to attack us through me, tries to attack us through him, tries to attack us through our son, tries to attack us through friends and family BUT GOD! He strengthens us – He reminds us why we love each other and brings us back to where we are to be. I know that there are husbands who are saved out there just letting their wives over work themselves and not help in any manner and some women find that acceptable…if this is what is okay with you then great…but understand that all of us do not have to go through that and some of us have a different kind of support and truly love the Lord for His mighty blessings.
For those husbands who are reading this long post…appreciate your wife, listen to your wife, show her affection and attention, if she is a working wife and you are still sitting there watching television while she is doing dishes…thank her – appreciate her and just love her. Some women do not mind doing those things – some women are proud to keep the house and take care of you and fall into bed exhausted…praise the Lord for her. Take the time to appreciate her…cause let me tell you this…not all women are like that.
Here is some straight up honesty for all…I am not going to do it. LOL I am a working wife and mother, and I want help around the house too. I work 40 hours a week, so does my husband – we are one in Jesus – we are one in the home. Now he is the head do not misunderstand me what he says is final…but he helps me because WE like to spend time together. If I get home and all I am doing is cleaning…when are we talking? So I fall into bed after cleaning up and all that housework alone after 40 hours a week job…make love with my husband and pass out…never once having a conversation with each other. When was the last time you spent the time ALONE with your husband – NOT WATCHING TV but just talking with him about things in life. When do you do that…do you know how many sisters tell me that their husbands are in front of the TV and they do not go to do anything together, most times the night out turns into a night of disappointment, argument or boredom because there was no conversation. You go out to eat home in an hour, this is not good my sisters and brothers. My husband and I do not go our much either because of a baby sitter but Friday nights we are up late talking and being silly about things. I look forward to Friday nights. It is a blessing to us. We missed a couple of Fridays and my husband had a few words about that too. We have to take the time for each other.
My brothers pay attention to your wife….listen to what she says and what she does not say. Speak your mind, she can not read your mind either. She needs your love more than anything…society and some Christian folks got us thinking we are supposed to work until we drop down…this is why the women movement came – I am convinced. When I think about things – the harmony that I have seen in marriages is when both the husband and wife are supportive of each other…some times that support is helping around the house. It is true…even if your wife is a stay at home mom – let her know that you appreciate all that she is doing for your family – how your family is her ministry and how she is just blessing you with a clean home and dinner ready for you.
Now of course my sisters – we have to be the same way too…stop telling him no about sex – open up and tell him when you are so tired that it is not going to be up to par with you that night but because you love him you want to make sure he is not denied. Remember that we are not superwoman, there is nothing wrong with letting things wait and not feel guilty…we are the ones who place that limitations on things…half the time our hubby would not know that the laundry is sitting there an extra day because you choose to sit with him and hang out with him. Too many empty marriages – we are to be more than the maid, and bed warmer…we are to be his help meet – we are to be his companion – we are to be what he needs from us – come to know your husband. If you are unhappy in your marriage or find things lacking – talk to him. If he will not talk to you – tell him that it bothers you and if he keeps leaving the door open things can and may happen. We as men and women have to realize that most adulterous affairs can be avoided if we would communicate and act on the communication…we have to be determined.
We need to stop making excuses…there are some of us that no matter what happens we have an excuse as to why it will not work for us…well you will continue to have struggles when you keep that attitude. Stop making excuses and be determined to make a difference. You may have to change your approach – you may have to go into serious prayer and fasting but do what you must to make it work and make your home a home of joy and peace…let us stop complaining and make a difference. Some of us are just complaining and not trying to make a difference in things. There is more to it than we are willing to admit to…deal with that and then watch what God will do. We are all blessed when we have the one that God has sent us. Sure we get frustrated but if God sent him to you and said he is your husband – stand on that and trust the Lord. Be happy and content in whatsoever state you find yourself.
Fourth – Yes I know I am blessed – I have a saved husband who loves the Lord and who loves me. He is truly governed by the Lord and as much as I love it at times I can not stand it. My husband will hold things in until he can’t take it no more and it starts out it is a little thing that turns into more than what it would have been when it started….meanwhile I am the direct tell you about it when it happens and do not sit on anything at all. We are still trying to find our happy medium in that and man is it an adventure but I love my husband and he loves me. We know that God has meant for us to be together. I am not saying this to boast but to say that if the Lord has blessed you with a husband – go to him and be honest in all that you are facing. Tell him how you feel and though he may not be able to help you or even ignore you – you know that you have given it to him as the head of your house and then make sure you take it to the Lord. Do not sit on it or allow it to fester…no matter what it is. It could be something as simple as snoring to something as serious as an affair…we need to build our relationships with our husbands.
I was truly touched by our pastor asking me on Sunday how our marriage was going. I had gone into him about our son as he seems to relate well to our son, and while I was in there, he asked me how Elder Merv and I were doing. I smiled and said that we are moving forward and though there are some things – we can and will work all of it out…we are now at the stage of really getting used to each other…the honey moon is not over – it is just beginning BUT there is still a transitional period of adjustment. I was explaining to my pastor how we need to move and this is a big concern of ours, I explained how things with Jonathan are getting a little out of hand and stressful for both of us. He stated first that in all things we have God, but we have each other and make sure communication is always open. He reminded me how sometimes we have to bend to keep harmony and the enemy out of the marriage and not just the woman all the time bending and not just the man all the time bending. As I listened to him I thought this is why there is such an importance for both spouses to be saved.
I pray much for my single sisters and that they wait for the man God has called them to be with, I pray for my married sisters who are not married to save men that they continue to be the shining light of the Lord that will drawl their husbands to Christ. I pray for my sisters, who are married to save men because that does not make the problems go away, just help us to know that in Jesus we will be alright.
We are blessed because we have Jesus! It is a daily job but we are determined to have a happy marriage and to have a great life in the Lord – I am convinced it is our determination that makes the difference! AMEN!!
Praise the Lord – I feel all right! God is good and I am blessed! Thank you Lord for letting people come at me in the manner that they do for I am stronger in you because of it! Thank you Lord for the tests because it is my testimony. Thank you Lord for blessing me in the manner that you do for I am blessed and highly favored in you and you alone!
Well until tomorrow,
Your sister in Christ,
Sister Alissa Lynne
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